Who am I and what is going on

The unwanted guest

Somewhere at some time I picked up a hitchhiker on life’s road. It was a rough road and I was not paying attention – I didn’t invite him in, he just hitched a ride without my permission. And now he won’t go away.

He stayed with me throughout the trip and even came home with me. Now I have an unwanted house guest that follows me everywhere and is always at my side. He sleeps in my bed, gets up with me every morning and spends almost every minute of every day interfering in my life. His presence has affected my life so much and in such a negative way that I can no longer work, I rarely get to see my family and normal every day tasks take longer and are more difficult than ever before.

Many people are aware of my ‘guest’. Some understand and are supportive, offering any advice they can to help me deal with him. Others, I’m sure, think he’s imaginary and I must be losing my mind. Honestly I often feel that I am losing my mind. Not because he’s not real, but because he is sooooo real.

Every morning he keeps me from getting up out of bed. When I wake he is there and it takes at least an hour of coaxing to get him to allow me up. His constant presence complicates everything I do from getting dressed in the morning to taking a shower. I really miss the days of jumping out of bed, full of energy and eager to start my day. Now I dread mornings and have difficulty finding joy in the simple things like going for a walk, playing with my grandchildren or just sitting outside in a lawn-chair enjoying the fresh air. Everyday tasks like cooking meals, cleaning and decorating my home are not so simple with him ‘helping’.

On a walk to the store he tags along, slowing me down and tripping me up. He makes every outing take longer and even an afternoon at the park isn’t fun like it used to be. He doesn’t get that I don’t want him around and wish he would just leave. Not to be ungrateful, but he adds nothing to my life and only takes away. There are others in my life that I want to spend more time with but his presence is a hindrance.  I can’t visit as long as I’d like, can’t go out and have fun with my friends, go to a movie or go bike riding. He’s a real stick-in-the-mud.

Do you have an unwanted guest like this; I know many people do. Maybe you call your guest pain, or maybe he’s fatigue. Some people have depression staying with them, or anxiety, fear or stress… these guests have many  names and none of them are pleasant guests. It makes it so much more difficult to invite in the guests we want to see more of like happiness and joy, passion, energy and optimism. But I will continue to work on my unwanted guest, Pain. He is not welcome in my home or in my life. I am doing everything I can to get rid of him and I have others helping me. Hopefully someday he will be gone for good. In the mean time I will continue to invite joy and happiness and all the other good friends… they come when they can and stay as long as they can. If I work at it and try to make my life more welcoming to them I’m sure they can stay more… maybe even co-exist with pain at times. There is always hope.


Comments on: "The unwanted guest" (2)

  1. i was very much tempted not to reed.but knowing you i could not avoid it

    you write well keep it up.

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